Raechel Zhao: The Bright Orchid Swallow (趙蕙燕)

Even though the pathology report was only “suspicious” for papillary carcinoma, my endocrinologist recommended that I get surgery.

I freaked out and was like…DOES THIS MEAN ITS CANCER?! The answer – we are not sure.

REALLY?! I had a biopsy done – how come you can’t tell for sure?! I was secretly yelling in my head.

I finally went to see the Thyroid Surgeon and the 1st discussion went like this:

• Surgeon: Because the first biopsy couldn’t definitively confirm the diagnosis of papillary carcinoma, I would like to repeat the biopsy today to see if we can confirm the diagnosis.
• Me: Why is it better to repeat the biopsy?
• Surgeon: If we can get a definitive diagnosis, we will know for sure what specific procedure (left thyroidectomy vs. total thyroidectomy) we need to do prior to the surgery. If we can’t get a definitive diagnosis, we will have to decide while you are on the operating table.

Of course, I went ahead and had the repeat biopsy. Deciding the type of procedure while I’m open on the operating table DOES NOT sound ideal.

• Being that this was the 2nd biopsy I received by 2 different surgeons, I was able to experience a biopsy with and without lidocaine. Let me tell you, GET THE LIDOCAINE. A biopsy in the thyroid isn’t really that painful as it is more uncomfortable, but the lidocaine really helped.
  

  

After the biopsy was done, I was told that we would schedule the surgery next week. The hope was that the 2nd biopsy would come back negative for cancer. Then I would only need to get 1/2 of my thyroid removed and then I wouldn’t need to take hormone replacement therapy for the rest of my life. However, if the biopsy was positive for papillary carcinoma, then I would need to get all of the thyroid removed and some lymph nodes. Then I would need to take Levothyroxine (a thyroid hormone) for the rest of my life.

5 DAYS LATER …..

And I still don’t know what procedure we will be doing, and my surgery is in less than 48 hours!!! Calm and composed on the outside, but going insane internally.

I call the surgeon’s office and ask if there was a final report on the biopsy that will help us determine the procedure – left thyroidectomy vs. total thyroidectomy.

Wait for it …

Pathology was STILL INCONCLUSIVE.

You know what that means? It means I will have the left thyroid taken out, and it will be sent to pathology to do an on-site reading of the full tumor/solid nodule. I will be knocked out on the table, and the surgeon will wait for pathology to come back and tell them if its cancer. If its not cancer, they are done. If it IS cancer, they will have to go back in a take out the right thyroid AND take out lymph nodes. How long will this take? Unknown!

Frustrating. Scary. All the emotions ever